Being a Mom

I haven't been a mom for a very long time and nor do I intend to pretend I know anything about it, because I don't. It's been an eye-opening experience, that's for sure. I've never been one of those who adored children or wanted to hold babies. I liked my nephew and neice and that was about it. I didn't understand why people brought their child to a restaurant or posted 1000000 pictures a day (well, I still don't understand that...) I would have been content in my naive world of never having a child, to be honest. Not EVERY married couple needs children .. right?

With all that said, Monroe was a bit of an accident...but the most fantactic accident I've ever encountered. My whole world has completely changed. You hear people say that a lot, but what they forget to emphasize is that not only did my world change, my VIEW on the world changed. It was like I took off these blinders and saw what everyone else was seeing about babies and children. I view everything in the eyes of a mother. Instead of rolling my eyes and cringing when I hear a baby cry, all I can think of is.. "How can I help you?". So so strange. Those maternal instincts are STRONG and boy do they kick in quick. My whole entire pregnancy I was so scared I would be a terrible mother because I never felt that lovingness towards babies and children and I thought it would carry on to my own, but it didn't. The moment I saw Monroe it was a like a mama bear came out of me and I was going to make sure she was safe, no matter what.

I cry on the drop of a hat now, and I cry just thinking of Monroe growing up. But watching my child learn is the most amazing process. I just squeal when she can finally lift her head up or grab a hold of an object. Such easy human tasks and here I am clapping over it...who would have thought?

Anyways, motherhood wasn't what I had expected it to be...it's even better. There are times I miss being able to do just what I want, but then I get the smiles or giggle out of her and I remind myself how lucky I am to experience this.

xoxo