Sweet Emotions

My child has officially passed the 5 month mark! I know they say "time flies", but it has literally FLOWN by.

I can't believe Christmas is almost here and 2014 will be over. This year has been life changing. I've always said that I'd never have a child and to be quite honest... I probably never would have. Every time I even thought about being pregnant I would get a rush of heat over my body. It terrified me. I hate needles and pain. My pain tolerence is really low and I just can't handle having a child, at least this is what I thought. I cried when I saw those two lines appear on the pregnancy test because I instantly thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. Me? A mom? Pregnancy? Labor? C-section? No way I can do any of that. And then 9 months went by with an awful 1st trimester full of nausea, multiple shots, countless blood being drawn, glucose test, 3 hour glucose test...KIDNEY STONES, and then the c-section. I handled it all like a CHAMP! I didn't really have a choice in the matter, but I did it. I guess as Whitney Houston would says, "I didn't know my own strength."

It was only an hour after I had Monroe and Phil asked me if I would do it again. If you know me, you know I hesitate on just about everything. I don't know if it was the drugs or the high of being a new mom, but I instantly with no hesitation said YES!  I'd do it all again because seeing your child for the first time is worth all the pain and morning sickness. It's worth spending a week in the hospital for kidney stones. It's worth that AWFUL 3 hour glucose test. Here I am 5 months later with a sweet little girl who lights up every time I plug the Christmas tree in. It makes my world slow down as she slowly gravitates her hand towards the tree branch and strokes it with her tiny fingers.

It's not easy being a mom. You always feel like you are doing something wrong. It's not like a puppy, you are creating a human! You don't want to screw them up. You want them to grow up and not have any problems or be someone else's problem. You want them to succeed and be gentle. You want them to respect themselves and others. You want them to be kind and caring, but not be a door mat at the same time. You want all these things for your child but there is no manual. How do you create a kind, independent, succesful and respectful extrovert?

xoxo

Nashville/Monroe

A few weeks ago both Phil and I traveled to Nashville for a long weekend to see one of my good friends get married. I nor Phil had never been to Nashville before, so we (plus a few of the other girls) decided to stay downtown one night to really get a feel for it. We had a BLAST! I can't wait to get back.

Savanna and Roy got married that Saturday and we all had such a fun time getting together. The wedding was beautiful and the food was phenomenal!!

Here is a picture I took of Savanna and Roy! One of my favorites of the night!

 

 

 

Here are a few pictures of Monroe. She looks nothing like me, but she is a doll baby. She loves sitting in her little frog chair and kicking her piano toy. She has started grabbing for me and she loves to put her hands in our mouths and grab our noses! She is really starting to giggle and she is such a great baby. We just love her. She will be 4 months old this friday!

 

Being a Mom

I haven't been a mom for a very long time and nor do I intend to pretend I know anything about it, because I don't. It's been an eye-opening experience, that's for sure. I've never been one of those who adored children or wanted to hold babies. I liked my nephew and neice and that was about it. I didn't understand why people brought their child to a restaurant or posted 1000000 pictures a day (well, I still don't understand that...) I would have been content in my naive world of never having a child, to be honest. Not EVERY married couple needs children .. right?

With all that said, Monroe was a bit of an accident...but the most fantactic accident I've ever encountered. My whole world has completely changed. You hear people say that a lot, but what they forget to emphasize is that not only did my world change, my VIEW on the world changed. It was like I took off these blinders and saw what everyone else was seeing about babies and children. I view everything in the eyes of a mother. Instead of rolling my eyes and cringing when I hear a baby cry, all I can think of is.. "How can I help you?". So so strange. Those maternal instincts are STRONG and boy do they kick in quick. My whole entire pregnancy I was so scared I would be a terrible mother because I never felt that lovingness towards babies and children and I thought it would carry on to my own, but it didn't. The moment I saw Monroe it was a like a mama bear came out of me and I was going to make sure she was safe, no matter what.

I cry on the drop of a hat now, and I cry just thinking of Monroe growing up. But watching my child learn is the most amazing process. I just squeal when she can finally lift her head up or grab a hold of an object. Such easy human tasks and here I am clapping over it...who would have thought?

Anyways, motherhood wasn't what I had expected it to be...it's even better. There are times I miss being able to do just what I want, but then I get the smiles or giggle out of her and I remind myself how lucky I am to experience this.

xoxo

Lonnggg time...

It's been forever since I've posted a blog post. Long enough that I had a baby...haha whoops.  I was in the kitchen cleaning one of her bottles and I thought that it would be really nice to be able to keep up with my daughter from month to month so I can look back and have her memories written down. I guess I'm a bit late since Monroe is almost 3 months old, but better late than never.. right?

Monroe Jane Mead was born on July 7th of 2014 at 12:23 p.m. via C-Section. She was 7lb 12 oz and 20 inches long. It was the scariest and happiest moment of my life. We had a scheduled C-Section for Monroe since she was breeched (which means head up). Most babies are able to be turned, but I had kidney stones the week they were going to turn her, so my doctor decided it may be best to schedule a C-Section. I was a bit disappointed, but knew it was the best thing for both Monroe and myself.

Also, if you were wondering.. kidney stones were WAY worse than any pain I experienced with the delivery and post partum of Monroe. Awful.. AWFUL!!

We arrived at the hospital an hour before the scheduled time (which was 11 a.m.) and I went in the back and the nurses prepared me. I was a bit uneasy since they asked Phil to say in the waiting room, but eventually he got to meet me as we waited to go back in the OR. There was an emergency c-section that I was waiting on to finish before I got to go back there, so I got to meet some of the people that would be back in the OR helping me. The next thing you know everyone is suiting up and the doors open and we head into the OR.

They asked Phil to stay behind as they finish the "prep" work for the c-section. I wasn't sure what to expect and became really nervous. I tried to be strong, but Phil has always been my rock so I kind of broke down without him. I tried to hold back the tears but they just kept coming. I was SO lucky to have such great nurses and such a great anesthetic nurse as well. One of the nurses held my face into her chest and let me cry as one rubbed my back before they put the shot in. You first get a shot to numb the area where you get the "big shot". It felt like a bee sting which isn't the best feeling, but way better than I thought it was going to feel.

Next thing I know the bottom half of my body is completely numb and the process begins. They let Phil finally come in and I start crying again because I was so thrilled that he was finally there. My doctor told me that once she comes in the room that Monroe would be out in a matter of minutes. I didn't quite believe her, but boy was she right! I could hear Monroe crying within 5 or so minutes of my doctor starting the process.

She was beautiful! Phil went straight over to the baby nurse and had her weighed and measured and cut the umbilical cord as they sewed me up. Phil brought Monroe over to me and layed her on my chest and I couldn't help but shed happy tears that she was finally here.

Our families were able to see her on our way to the recovery room and they were so excited! It felt like such a whirlwind and I'm glad they caught some of it on camera for me to remember. It didn't take long for EVERYONE to figure out that she looked exactly like her daddy.

We spent the next few days in the hospital trying to sort out being new parents. Phil, of course was a natural. He immediately took to Monroe. We decided to try and cut the stay a day short as we were ready to be out of there. It wasn't but just 4 week earlier that we were in the same hospital for 4 awful days with my kidney stones. The less time we were there, the better!


That's the shortened version of Monroe's birth story. Eventually, I'll write more about her and put pictures :)

Where do I even start...